4/26 Covid-19 Update: "The universe is vast and is a magical membrane of meaning"
I've been talking to a reporter who covers culture and gender over the last few days about a story she's writing about workplace crying and the gender dynamics behind how our emotions are perceived. Her hypothesis is that because of covid, the "old rules" about when and how to express emotion at work may finally be upended. Male politicians are crying in public, including the governors of New York and Massachusetts (I've thought back to the times that Obama cried - and sang - about gun violence when he was in office, and wondered if that opened up any space for more men to show emotion when heartbreaking things happen?).
I've gotten more comfortable recently with the idea of bringing my "whole self" to work, even if that's not the norm at the foundation. I'm not good at compartmentalizing, and it usually doesn't go very well when I try. I often think of the Dear Sugar advice: “Don't lament so much about how your career is going to turn out. You don't have a career. You have a life. Do the work." Life is a "great and continuous unfolding" and the confusing days usually add up to something. And sometimes bringing my whole self means that I'm the only one crying in meetings. I'm not pretending that I'm comfortable with this fact -- I was in a meeting in February about the locust plague in East Africa and we were talking about the potential of millions of hungry/starving kids and I started crying. It was embarrassing, and I apologized to my boss after (he was very understanding). It still feels very unprofessional to me most of the time, because of what I've been conditioned to believe about crying at work.
But I was telling this reporter that a weird, unexpected benefit of remote work is that with Microsoft Teams meetings, I can just turn my camera off when I'm crying. If we were meeting in person, I wouldn't have that luxury. The people I'm working with on covid (almost entirely men) are all scientists, and have all worked on pandemics before (SARS/Ebola). They can process what's happening in a way that I just can't. It makes me uncomfortable and my temptation is always to judge myself for not being able to show up the way that they do, but I think that temptation is decreasing.
The reporter asked me to let her know if I heard any stories of unexpected ways that gender dynamics are playing out at work or home because of covid (is Zoom helping or hurting women's voices being heard? Are dads doing more housework/emotional labor? New moms not having to make excuses around work travel? Childless women getting more career opportunities?... just a few of the ideas we were discussing) -- so I'd love to hear how these dynamics are playing out for you if you have anything you'd want to share. Not even for the story, but just because I'm really curious about this.It's such a strange thing to watch the world change in real time!
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Tl;dr:
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them* - A helpful breakdown on the differences between misinformation and disinformation and lies, and how all three are being spread right now: "This pandemic is proving a fertile breeding ground for three types of toxic information and it’s being exploited mercilessly right under your nose, accidentally by your friends on social media, deliberately by those who want to create chaos, and by politicians who seek to control the narrative. Misinformation is the kindest label for a form of public lying, the accidental or just misinformed sharing of incorrect information, or perhaps correct data in the wrong context. Journalists need to work hard not to do it, and politicians can cause problems with it. Disinformation is a whole lot nastier and those who deploy it best are evil geniuses who know how to create chaos and compel a reader or a section of society to lose their grip on reality and mistrust facts. Russia is arguably the world champion. Bald-faced lies, statements you don’t give a damn about being true or not, require a higher level of brass-neckery. A galaxy of stars vie for a Pinocchio award, from conspiracy theorist Alex Jones to Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro and of course, US President Donald Trump. A global crisis such as Covid-19 offers fertile ground for misinformation, often from “friends” on Facebook, disinformation deliberately sown by Russia or China to erode confidence in western leaders and institutions, and some fabulous lies often qualified with “people are saying” or “I’ve heard”. All three types of bad information lead to despair."
Recommended reading:
Quarantines Gave Us the Freedom to Embrace Our Inner Weirdos (my cousins and I had "overalls and weird hat" night on Friday, so think we're truly excelling in this regard): The coronavirus pandemic as a whole is no laughing matter; it’s causing mass death and sickness and job loss. But for those of us lucky enough to escape the worst effects of it, this new world order—one of social isolation, ghost cities, teleworking and teledating, home confinement alone or with a family—has forced or perhaps freed us all to get a little bit weird. Our appearances went first. Corporate-type men, who probably all own this one blue gingham shirt, are experimenting with their hair: growing it long, shaving it into a mohawk, trying out a mustache or a fu manchu. Women are ditching bras, but some days putting on lipstick with nowhere to go, just to feel something. Pants, or at least “hard ones,” are a thing of the past.
On Coronavirus Lockdown? Look for Meaning, Not Happiness How people respond to adversity is a topic I’ve investigated for years as a journalist. Over the past decade, I’ve interviewed dozens of people about their experiences of extreme stress and have scoured the academic research in psychology on resilience to understand why some people are broken by crises while others emerge from stressful experiences even stronger than before. What I’ve learned sheds light on how people can protect their mental health during the pandemic — and it upends some common ideas our culture carries about trauma and well-being. When researchers and clinicians look at who copes well in crisis and even grows through it, it’s not those who focus on pursuing happiness to feel better; it’s those who cultivate an attitude of tragic optimism.
Martin Luther King Jr. Predicted This Moment:Fifty-two years ago, when the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. famously asserted the dignity of all work, he seemed to foresee this moment when it would become so clear that the labor of everyone — farmworkers, grocers, delivery drivers, caregivers, nursing assistants — was essential to all of our health and well-being. Dr. King wasn’t just making a moral observation. He was calling for “genuine equality” through an increase in wages, health care, job safety and economic power. “What does it profit a man to be able to eat at an integrated lunch counter,” Dr. King asked, “if he doesn’t earn enough money to buy a hamburger?” Today, we are forced to confront the dissonance between our nation’s labeling of workers as “essential” and “heroes” and their limited wages, benefits and ability to organize.
Things that made me feel better/less alone:
San Antonio Food Bank Gets 'Halftime Coaching' From Spurs' Gregg Popovich
8 In 10 Americans Support COVID-19 Shutdown
Covid-19 Quote of the Day:
"When all the words have been written, and all the phrases have been spoken, the great mystery of life will still remain....The world is a great mysterious place, and its possibilities are infinite, governed only by what our hearts can conceive. If we incline our hearts towards the darkness, we will see darkness. If we incline them toward the light, we will see the light.
Those of great heart have always known this. They have understood that, as honorable as it is to see the wrong and try to correct it, a life well lived must somehow celebrate the promise that life provides. The darkness at the limits of our knowledge; the darkness that sometimes seem to surround us is merely a way to make us reach beyond certainty, to make our lives a witness to hope, a testimony to possibility, an urge toward the best and the most honorable impulses that our hearts can conceive.
It is not hard. There is in each of us, no matter how humble, a capacity for love. Even if our lives have not taken the course we had envisioned, even if we are less than the shape of our dreams, we are part of the human family. Somewhere, in the most inconsequential corners of our lives, is the opportunity for love.... There is no tragedy or injustice so great, no life so small and inconsequential, that we cannot bear witness to the light in the quiet acts and hidden moments of our days.
And who can say which of these acts and moments will make a difference? The universe is vast and is a magical membrane of meaning, stretching across time and space, and it is not given to us to know her secrets and her ways. Perhaps we were placed here to meet the challenge of a single moment; perhaps the touch we give will cause the touch that will change the world."
-Kent Nerburn
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Last night's sunset from my window --- sending love.
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